24 recap: Bio doh.

No fuss. We’re off and running with the 24 recap.


Hour 15 begins at Senator 70s Show’s house, and Larry on the phone with Ethan, telling him that the Senator’s dead and they think Jack did it. Ethan gets pissed and throws Larry some how could you let this happen?! guilt, but Larry fights back with some eff you, this is your fault, and I advised you against letting Jack out. This seems to hit Ethan like a ton of bricks, so much so that he asks Larry to repeat it. Their phone conversation ends abruptly. Meanwhile, the President is on the phone with Henry, who is awake, aware, and evidently in good shape at the hospital. She tells him that all is well and adds that Olivia has come home. Ethan enters as she’s getting off the phone with Henry, and she tells him that Henry is going to make a full recovery. Ethan tells her that Senator 70s Show is dead, that Jack is suspected, that he has to take responsibility for it because it will damage her presidency if he doesn’t, and that he’s resigning. She tries to talk him out of it, but he says he’s going to have a letter on her desk in the morning.

Back out on the roads, Jack and Tony are on the phone, with Jack telling Tony the whos, whens, and wheres of Starkwood obtaining a biological weapon in Alexandria. They meet up at the port, with Tony having already cased the joint. Jack believes the weapon is still at the port and wants to look at the shipment manifest. Tony says he’s seen one security person, and Jack can’t believe that there aren’t more of them so they go to have a closer look. The security guard is on the phone talking to his wife. Through their conversation we learn that she’s pregnant with twins. There’s no way this guy can live through whatever’s about to happen. Tony and Jack appear and Jack sticks a gun in the security dude’s face and demands to see the manifest. Off they go.

Outside the port, Starkwood peeps are waiting to come inside to retrieve the weapon. They call Hodges and tell him that they haven’t heard from Quinn, and Hodges tells them to wait five minutes before going on without him. Hodges enters a conference room that is filled with Starkwood board members and attempts to rally them against the governments inquiries and subpoenas. He thinks Starkwood could’ve helped in today’s siege at the White House. The guy I presume to be Chairman, Doug, thinks it’s ludicrous to risk what would come of failure to cooperate with the government. They talk outside the room and Doug suggests that Senator 70s Show would never let them off the hook, an Hodges tells him that the Senator was killed by a rogue federal agent.

Back at the port, Jack can’t see all the info on all the shipments because there’s password protection, but there were a couple of shipments from that area of Africa. Security dude, Carl, says he doesn’t have password info, and after Jack explains that there is a bio weapon on site, Carl confirms because he was approached by men who said that they were smuggling in electronics and that he was going to be paid to let them in the port and look the other way. He’s security supervisor and arranged it so that he’d be the only one on duty. Jack and Tony send him in with a wire to let Starkwood in and lead them to the weapon, but not before getting Jack to promise that they have his back. Carl lets Starkwood in and is made to get in the car with Starkwood. Jack is upset because Carl’s now in danger, and Tony tries to quell Jack’s worries because they both knew he was dead when he went out there.

Back at the White House, Ethan is packing up his things and Olivia enters to apologize for the things that she’s said to him. Ethan apologizes for thinking she was the leak and gives her some parting advice before departing. When he leaves, Olivia calls reporter dude to tell him to run with the story of Ethan’s involvement in recent Jack events, adding that since he’s resigning he has to be the fall guy and the President has to be nowhere near the story. Reporter responds affirmatively and asks about getting that dinner that Olivia promised. Guess she bribed him with a date? This is the 2nd time someone looking too guilty to be guilty has ended up guilty. Whoops.

Meanwhile, Larry and Lady Jack talk on the phone, as Larry has evidence that points to a third party at Senator’s home. He tells Lady Jack that the Senator is dead and she immediately asks about Jack. Larry concedes that Jack isn’t looking so guilty, and Lady Jack tells him a little about Starkwood and their involvement in what’s been happening to help exonerate Jack.

At the port, Starkwood is taking possession of the weapon. The ringleader instructs a cronie to settle up with Carl, and he takes him to the truck but pulls a gun on him. Jack and Tony watch, and Jack puts a silencer on his gun and takes aim to save Carl. Tony tries to talk him off of it, saying he would bring about a firefight that would be “two on ten” and could cause them to lose the weapon. Jack, staring down his gun’s sight, corrects Tony’s count with “two on nine.” Tony continues to convince Jack, who appears to come over to his side before shooting the cronie. Carl runs off, surprisingly still alive. Starkwood begins to saddle up to leave but discover that the cronie is dead. Cue firefight. Tony and Jack plot to steal the truck onto which the weapon is loaded. The truck rolls out and Tony continues to keep Starkwood engaged as Jack runs for it. He jumps on top of it, climbs down and pulls the driver out. Tony is captured by Starkwood as Jack drives off. Jack calls Larry and tells him he has the weapon and that Larry needs to send people to the port and people to meet him. As he hangs up, he notices a blinking light on the trailer and stops to investigate. There’s a leak in the weapon and Jack, seeing that many people are around, enters the trailer to shut off the leak. As he comes back out, Starkwood appears in an SUV and a helicopter and airlift the weapon out while keeping Jack pinned down with gunfire. Tony’s in the back of the SUV. They flee. Jack calls Larry and tells him that they have the weapon. He adds that he’s been exposed to it.

Next week, the FBI is off to take on Starkwood, and the CDC apparently quarantines Jack and does bloodwork on him to see what the result of him being exposed to the weapon was.

24 recap - Bio doh

Going Mad

It’s that time of year again, when the nation is gripped by March Madness. Video feeds are found online. People take long lunches at ESPNZone. Dummy spreadsheets are created to alt+tab to at work. News reports surface about how many man hours or how much money is lost by companies as a result of employees watching the tournament instead of working. Networks are slowed because of bandwith lost. Brackets have been completed, and everyone thinks they know what they’re talking about.

Well, it’s not all gravy. I’ve got a few gripes.

1) This “opening round” crap is bullshit. Yes. Crap is bullshit. I realize the 64th and 65th teams get the same share for making the tournament as the rest of the teams, but those teams, by winning their conference tournaments, earned the right to, until a #16 actually beats a #1, lose to a top seed in front of the nation in the first round. Does anyone actually watch the play-in game? No. But everyone watches the first round.

2) Like All-Star voting and the BCS, unless the amount of qualified participants is exactly that of the available slots, someone is going to get snubbed. You want to prevent snubs? Invite every team in D1 college basketball. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. There are 34 at-large bids. You think St. Mary’s should’ve been in? If they weren’t in the top 30 teams in the country who didn’t win their conference tournament, they don’t really have a gripe.

3) This isn’t really a gripe so much as it is a concern. I originally kind of liked VCU over UCLA, but now it seems everyone, even Barack Obama, has VCU over UCLA. When so many people like a team, I find it hard to be confident that it’s right. I’ve got the Bruins.

4) “You’ve got chalk! Lame!” I’m sorry? Where were those douchebags when four #1 seeds made up the Final Four last year? They were throwing their brackets in the trash because they were so concerned with finding the upsets that they lost the plot: For the most part, the high seeds are high seeds because they’re good. They’re supposed to win these games. No, I don’t think it’s going to be all #1 seeds this year because I don’t think there’s that much of a gap between those teams and the rest of the field, but that doesn’t mean the high seeds aren’t the ones who are going to be going through.

Coverage starts at 12:10. Look for me on my couch. Yeah, on my couch.

Going Mad

24 recap: Jack on the run

We’re back this week with another hour of 24. If you don’t know by now…


We’re back at the hospital with Jack evading the police, FBI, SWAT, INS or whoever is chasing him. Further proving that in and around DC you shouldn’t leave valuables in view, he breaks the window of and steals a car that has a laptop in it that we obviously see is a Mac Cult machine, just without the “one of us… one of us…” tagline. Jack hauls it out of the hospital parking lot. Back at the FBI, Morris is asking questions about Chloe’s whereabouts while Barney (that’s Janice for those who haven’t been paying attention) is meeting her annoyingness quota for the hour, telling Morris very little about Chloe other than she’s in holding, and then telling him to wait in the conference room. Lady Jack, clearly not making out with Jack this week, is at the FBI headquarters too, trying to find out what’s going on. Barney tells her about fugitive Jack and dead Ryan Burnett. Lady Jack goes to her office.

Back on the road, Jack uses the computer and accesses security files he lifted from the hospital and finds the guy who tried to frame him on camera. He calls Lady Jack, explains that he’s been setup, and gets Lady Jack’s help to ID Quinn. Lady Jack is hesitant at first, probably wondering how it is Jack can do all of this and drive at the same time, and how he got her email address, but she finally pushes all her chips to the center of the table, indicating that she’s all in with Jack. She says she’ll call him back with the ID. This segment was brought to you by Sprint wireless broadband.

Now we’re at Hodges’ (Jon Voight) digs, where he and Seaton (Lucas from Empire Records) are talking over the plans with the shipment of Juma weapons. We still don’t know what they are, but we’re supposed to believe Voight at least thinks he has a soul when he talks about how he doesn’t want to use the weapons. And did he just say the word “pajamas?”

Lady Jack hits Jack on the hip and IDs Quinn, explaining that he’s a part of Blackwater – er, Starkwood – a contracted military organization that Senator 70s Show has been investigating. Jack wants the Senator’s address which Lady Jack sends to him as Larry walks in the office. They talk briefly and pleasantly, with Lady Jack questioning whether Jack, after everything that has happened, killed Burnett. Larry says she should go home and leaves the office, going outside to tell Barney that Lady Jack has talked to Jack. He gets Barney to access Lady Jack’s logs to see what she’s done. It’s only a matter of time before Jack and Lady Jack are making Superagent babies together. If he won’t, I’ll make Blasianagent babies with her that will be only slightly less cool. And less deadly. But probably taller.

At the White House, the Prez is about to give a speech and Olivia has input. The President kowtows to her to make her feel appreciated, including part of what she wants put in the speech, and then Ethan enters and tells the Prez what happened with Jack and Burnett. Olivia snipes at him and Prez puts her in line. Make up your mind, President. Either let the beast run or keep her on a leash. Back at the FBI, Renee turns in her badge and gun before seeing Barney talking on her headset about her so she attempts to flee before being apprehended. Larry alleges that she knows where Jack is and she denies it. Larry has her arrested.

At Senator 70s Show’s pad, we’re about to find out whether he’s Bauer-proofed his home. The answer is no, as Jack has somehow already entered without setting off the alarm, and he grills the Senator about Starkwood, wanting access to his files. Senator tries to get Jack to say he’ll give himself up if he lets him access the files. You don’t negotiate with Jack Bauer.
The Prez is giving her speech, and some toolbox tells Ethan that he’s going to report what happened to Burnett, Jack’s status as suspect, and Ethan’s responsibility. Ethan denies, and believes Olivia is the leak. She claims innocence, looking too guilty to be guilty. Back at the FBI, because Lady Jack encrypted info she sent Jack, Barney can’t hack it because she’s lame. They bait Morris with Chloe’s possible punishment and he agrees to help them hack the info if Chloe gets immunity. They do, he does, and Chloe is predictably unhappy with Morris as the FBI heads to Senator 70s Show’s place to get Jack. There, Jack has linked Quinn and Starkwood to another murder and the Senator is now convinced that Jack is onto something. A cop arrives at the door, and the Senator convinces Jack that he can get the cops to help them, so Jack tells the Senator to let the cop in. Whoops! It’s Quinn! How the hell did he know where to go? Bang bang goes the Senator, and Jack escapes.

White House confrontation. Prez, Ethan, and Olivia. Olivia is blamed but smugly exonerates herself by confirming a lead that the leak is elsewhere and that she can get the story to die if the Prez gives a little reporter face time. Even if she’s not the leak, she still is too smug to mean well. Out in the field, the FBI has discovered Senator’s body and blames Jack. Meanwhile, Jack enters a construction sight. Quinn sees Jack’s blood, presumably from when he escaped Senator 70s Show’s place by throwing himself through a glass door, and tracks him to the sight like a CSI. He enters a trailer and shoots it up thinking Jack is inside. He’s not. In fact, he’s in a tractor that topples the trailer! What?! Quinn climbs out. Jack climbs down out of the tractor and it’s hand-to-hand combat time. Jack wins, in the construction sight. with the screwdriver, and Quinn is coaxed to tell Jack that the weapons are already here. Jack pulls the location off of Quinn’s cell and calls Tony, just chilling at an outdoor café. Jack relays the location to Tony, who’s on the way.

Next week, Tony and Jack find the weapons, and we get a dramatic shot of Lady Jack in holding.

24 recap - Jack on the run

Sights & Sounds of Shamrockfest

Shamrockfest was a soggy drunkfest, as I expected. Flanked at times by a couple of bloggers and a number of others, this is what transpired.

Dominating Theme #1: Sunglasses
Anyone who looked at the forecast for Saturday as early as 48 hours before Shamrockfest knew that there was at least a 50% chance that it was going to be overcast and rainy. Hell, anyone who stepped onto their front step in the morning saw that the sun was not going to be seen all day long. So why is it that so many people were wearing sunglasses? Idiots, you looked ridiculous.

Dominating Theme #2: Halloween come early
Speaking of ridiculous… I realize that wearing green is the thing for St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. So can someone tell me where the tutus, and other costumey getups came into play? March 17 is not October 31, people.

Rollin’ VIP, what?! Rollin’ VIP
VIP was a little bit different this year. The two VIP areas were bigger. The restroom trailers were replaced by long rows of port-a-johns, which I actually appreciated because it meant that there were more places to go when you had to take a leak. There was better-than-Bud beer like Bass, and the Shamrockfest beer was actually Redhook. Beer lines for the non-Bud were short, and you never had to wait long for booze – a good thing, of course. I did not see the promised food vendors in the VIP area in Lot 8, but I managed to find corn dogs fairly quickly and without much waiting in line on the outside.

Flip Cup
Ahhh flip cup. With the tables provided in the VIP area it is a time-honored tradition. Flip cup all-stars that we are, I can only recall losing two or three games of the many we played, even when gimmicks were employed like the first drinkers sprinting once around the table before drinking, or answering a multiple choice question of preference before drinking. The latter was the most intriguing because there was no right or wrong answer, so the trick was to just answer one quickly so you could drink. That wrinkle generated one of the funniest moments of the day, where a guy and a girl faced off to start the game, and the question asker posed the following: Cum on the tits or cum on the face? The guy very quickly and matter of factly answered “tits” and brought the cup to his mouth. The girl, after a brief moment of hesitation or introspection answered “face” and started to drink. I was giggling like a giddy child at her preference, and a guy across the table laughed and uttered softly to himself “she said face” before we both laughed loudly. She should have received wedding proposals on the spot.

After my blogger compatriots exited, I stayed around a little longer with some other friends before heading for the metro myself. All in all, a wet yet enjoyable day. Hopefully it’s dry next year.

Sights & Sounds of Shamrockfest

Ruh roh

Ruh roh

TMI Thursday: Deepest Blue

I realized the other day that two of my TMI Thursdays thus far have centered around an incident that induced blue balls for yours truly. Despite the fact that two is twice too many, I am soldiering forth and giving you a third blue balls tale. Cross your legs.

Almost Laid-Us

When I think about it, this was probably the worst case I ever endured because there was nowhere to go for release. At least immediately. It was the middle of the relationship of trouble before, but this time it isn’t about poor customer service. I need to talk to you about your new commercials.

This is supposed to make people want to switch to Comcast?

These people don’t show any personality. There are minimal facial expressions, minimal voice inflection, and I’m pretty sure this commercial just caused me to endure three sneezing fits. Am I the only one who gets a very strong Children of the Corn vibe, especially from girl with the pigtails and the one on the bike? And why is that boy sitting at a baseball field with a baseball bat next to him, by himself, wearing street clothes? The whole thing is strange. I get that you want to shed light upon your features, but what the hell does “ROTFLOLing” have to do with Comcast? Are people only capable of ROTFLOLing when they use Comcast services?

I’m not someone who gets really irritated when commercials come on TV. Well, except when there’s a score during a football game and they go commercial, kickoff, commercial. I realize commercials are unavoidable. Hell, I don’t even usually mute the television when they come on, but I make an exception for this one. Really, Comcast, I think you need to go another way. Is this working for anyone?

Children of the Comcast

24 recap: Big Bang

Would it be too cliché to say that this episode of 24 was explosive? Yes? Okay then.


In case you forgot, the White House is under siege. I learn that I’ve been spelling General Juma’s name wrong all along. Whatever. While President Taylor and Olivia are having a moment, Jack decides that he’s going to sacrifice himself to set off an explosion that he set up in the safe room that should take out Juma’s men so that Bill can rescue the president. Senator 70’s Show wants in, but Jack shuts him up and shuts him out. It’s time for Taylor to read the Juma statement, in front of what I presume to be the ugly looking Sangala flag. The statement is going out over the internet via a feed that nobody on the outside can shut off. Somebody call Al Gore.

In the FBI trailer, Larry and Lady Jack, of the belief that Juma is on a suicide mission, are again on the VP about authorizing a rescue mission, but the VP won’t do it, wanting to I guess take the more diplomatic approach. Back inside, Bill explains to Jack that he saw Juma talking on a satellite phone with an unknown person on the outside, indicating that Juma is working with someone else, and that the threat is not over. He wants Jack to find out what’s going on, saying he’s the only man that Bill thinks can do it, and then he runs for the door to the safe room before Jack can stop him. He goes for one of Juma’s men, gets ahold of a gun, and fires a shot into the ceiling which sets off the natural gas explosion that Jack set up. Outside, the explosion is heard and Larry orders his people to go in to the White House against the VP’s wishes. There’s a flurry of gunfire, Jack tells Aaron Pierce to secure the President and Olivia, and Jack attempts to detain Juma at gunpoint before Juma goes for his gun, forcing Jack to kill him. The gunfire ceases, Juma and his men are dead, and Jack sees Bill’s dead body in the doorway to the safe room. The silent clock counts us to commercial.

Olivia and the President have another reconciliation moment, deciding to put the past behind them. Lady Jack tries to make Jack feel better about Bill’s passing, saying he died protecting his country, but Jack doesn’t seem to listen, saying it should have been him. Jack tells Larry and Lady Jack that Juma was not working alone and he needs to question Ryan Burnett about it. Predictably, Larry says no and orders Jack to be taken into custody. Renee wants Larry to reconsider, saying that Jack’s been right this whole time, but Larry doesn’t bend. Renee goes to Ethan behind Larry’s back, who authorizes Jack to question Burnett via a phone call to Larry. Larry argues, but Ethan won’t have any of it. Jack gets released to question Burnett and Larry goes with him to supervise, but not before suspending Renee for going behind his back, indicating that he can’t trust her. She’s to turn in her badge. We learn that Jon Voight is receiving weapons from Dubaku that he at least will use to threaten US targets. Lucas from Empire Records, Voight’s right hand man, tells Voight that Jack is going to question Burnett under White House authority. Lucas has sent someone to “take care of” them both.

Ethan, under request from the President, goes to Olivia to bury his hatchet with her and offer her a job in the President’s administration. Olivia excoriates Ethan, saying all of the corruption in the administration happened right under his nose, blaming him for what’s happened. She says she’s going to find out all who were responsible and make sure they can’t do it again.

Burnett’s room is monitored by video and audio surveillance. While he is being awakened from sedation, Voight’s assassin slips into the hospital in scrubs and into the ceiling above. Jack starts questioning Burnett, and the assassin kills the audio feed and freezes the video feed in the room. Burnett is scared of Jack and says he’ll talk, and the assassin drops gas into the room, knocking out Jack and Burnett. With those two knocked out, he drops into the room, destroys the access panel to the room, breaks the glass door of a cabinet, touches a shard to Jack’s hand to get his prints on it, then uses it to stab Burnett and slit his throat, killing him. He then escapes the way he came. The video comes back and Larry and the others see Burnett’s bloody body and run to the room. They begin rapping at the door, calling for Jack, who has just awakened to see Burnett’s body. Knowing he’s been framed, Jack escapes through the ceiling. Larry and company get into the room but Jack is gone and Burnett is dead, so Larry orders the hospital locked down to apprehend Jack. Once outside, Jack calls Larry and says that he didn’t kill Burnett and that whoever is responsible wanted Jack framed for it. Larry tries to get Jack to come back if he’s innocent, and Jack tells Larry that he can’t do that, and sets about escaping as the cops close in.

Next week, Jack presumably gets help from Renee, and Larry comes after her to find out where Jack is. Jack somehow gets to Senator 70’s Show’s house to confront him, and Larry leverages Chloe against Morris to get him to help him, threatening to charge Chloe over helping fugitive Jack.

Can anyone tell me where Tony is?

24 recap - Big Bang


Despite my affinity for chilly weather, seeing my breath, and snow, I must admit I did enjoy the weather of this past weekend. With it, came driving everywhere with the windows down and music blasting, sitting on a bar stool and um… critiquing… passersby, and the reminder that almost weekly DCU tailgates are just around the corner. That said, I need it to get a little cooler around here for a few days. You see, it appears as though the AC in my place is not exactly conditioning said air. Rather, it’s churning, sounding as though it’s working, when in reality it’s blowing air that is negligibly lower than current room temperature. Not good.

So, please forgive me for welcoming the soon-to-be dropping temperatures, down into the 40s as the week progresses. Until I can remedy this little problem, that’s the way it’s going to have to be. Well, at least until Saturday and Shamrockfest, when I could do for a little warmer than a high of 48. Then again, if past Shamrockfests have been any indication, I can just warm myself up by doing the Percolator.