In which I like my eggs a little Bunny

My Easter started with consumption of a Cadbury Creme Egg, as it should have (note to readers: candy will be half off today). I left for Sequoia to meet family, and drove by Clyde’s where I saw the creepiest Easter Bunny I’ve ever seen. I parked, walked inside, and was seated for brunch with my mother, younger sister, and a female cousin. Yes, I was surrounded by women.

It went roughly how you’d expect. They talked at times as if I was not there, about jobs and men, and varying other things. I looked on and listened, hoping that they would not turn their attention to me. I offered little in conversation, hoping that, like the Tyrannosaurus Rex in Jurassic Park, I would not be seen if I did not make any sudden movements, for any dating-related conversation was going to eventually turn to me. And just when I thought I was safe…

Mom: “So, I-66y, are…”
I-66 [interrupting]: “Don’t think that I’m going to offer up anything here.”
Cousin: “Why not? We did.”
I-66: “You didn’t have to. I know how this conversation goes. We have it all the time.”

Well, I was outnumbered. Under estrogenical pressure, I offered up a little about current events and extrications, and that was enough to sate the thirst. I endured some “guys are crazy” sentiment, and with a wince offered up some “all women are crazy, you just have to find the crazy that you can deal with” of my own. Relatively speaking, I escaped unscathed.

And then there was the talk of why my sister and I don’t go to church. I get a little for this every religious holiday, as my mother used to actively try to get me to go to church, but now she knows better than to ask. As the unconvincing Easter Bunny walked around inside the restaurant with her brunette pony tail hanging out from under her costume head and over her ill-fitting costume, I dodged detailing my objections to organized religion because that would’ve made conversation turn uncomfortable, though I may or may not have referred to myself as a heathen with a giant grin on my face. These days, religious holidays like Easter and Christmas aren’t about church, or even really about Jesus. These days, religious holidays are about love and spending quality time with family, even through uncomfortable conversations, because you know that even though you might not want to be talking about what they want to talk about, you wouldn’t rather spend the time another way.

In which I like my eggs a little Bunny

8 Responses

  1. I feel like I missed out a little this year since I didn’t see a single person dressed as an Easter bunny. Apparently there were even random people giving out “free hugs” in Union Square. Missed that too. Sounds like you got a little of it all though in your Easter experience.

    Oh and PS, candy selection in NYC SUCKS in comparison to DC. It’s not even worth bothering to look here. :(

    • Not a one? Well, it’s not as though the Bunnies I saw were of high quality. The head on the costume the girl wore didn’t appear to match the rest of the costume.

  2. /struggles mightily to avoid candy-vending places of business. Fails.

    I wonder if I’m a horrible person for associating such holidays solely with the consumption of sugar, and reserving quality time spent with family for those weekends when I’m less preoccupied with chocolate.

    • Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

      So wait… does that mean my plan to push Memorial Day candy is good or bad?

  3. “all women are crazy, you just have to find the crazy that you can deal with”

    HA! Love it. So true…..

  4. We’ve now reached the end of the Halloween-Christmas-Valentines-Easter candy portion of the year. That said, I work in a complex with a Target. I can almost smell the half-off candy from the sixth floor. I can probably buy enough foil-wrapped chocolates to last until Oct. 31.

    Glad to hear you made it out alive.

  5. “all women are crazy, you just have to find the crazy that you can deal with”

    SO true. Just like you guys are all dumb, and we have to find one who will A) put up with our kinda crazy and B) not drive us extra crazy being dumb.

    It’s all about balance.

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