It’s been 12 years, I think, but it feels like less than that. Twelve years have passed since the weekend when my mother packed up the kids and left my father. Since then, he and I, once very close, have grown apart. I used to drive by a Starbucks, see his very recognizeable car parked there, and excitedly careen across two lanes of traffic so I could go inside and sit across from him, hidden behind his newspaper, so I could see his face when he noticed that I was there. Since then, we’ve spoken less and less, and my efforts to bridge the gap went to waste. The last time I called him was a recent birthday. I left him a message, and he didn’t call me back. I stopped trying. He’s suffered through medical trouble and financial trouble, and all along he refused to look at himself, and instead has chosen all along to blame my mother. My sisters have continued to try to keep alive the lines of communication, with mostly the same results as mine, excepting my older sister’s family, who my father is evidently not afraid to ask for money.

Older sister called me on Saturday. I was surprised because this is the time of year where she and her family are found on a vacation island many miles south and many degrees north of here. She told me that she spoke to my father on Christmas. In conversation about what’s going on with the family lately, she told him about my mother’s medical situation, and his response was to suggest that it was karmatic retribution, and that my mother was getting what she deserved for what she’d done to him.


She was disgusted. Understandably she says she’s done, which is where I already was. Younger sis graduated from college this month, and next month a big family dinner is planned to celebrate. As of this moment, she wants to invite dad, but she’s out of town and hasn’t yet learned of the things he said. I think when she does, she’ll change her mind.


8 Responses

  1. What an f’ing jerk. I will, if you’d like, hunt him down and punch him in the back of the head. Yes?

    Not yet. It’s good to know that I have options though.

  2. What a fucking doink.

    You know I can relate. I am really sorry.

    Yes, I do know that you can relate. It’s just a shame.

  3. Ugh. I’m sure you’re right about that.

    I’m so sorry, dear.

    It’s just unfortunate that she has to learn this stuff. She’ll have to figure it out eventually one way or the other.

  4. It’s amazing what your blood relatives can do to you. I could tell stories, but I won’t. Just know I understand.

    Thanks Cube. It’s not the time of year for these things to be coming to light, but better now than never.

  5. We should really form a club. Ugh.

    We’ve got jackets.

  6. Your father sounds as delightful as my father-in-law.

    Thank goodness his daughters can’t bring themselves to tell him to jump in a lake, so we get to spend time with him.

  7. I’ll piss on him.

  8. Wow, I’m sorry to hear that. That’s awful. You want to think that people will change at some point, but sometimes I guess they just don’t.

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