Scratching and clawing

ninjacat2I should’ve known something bad was going to happen. From the moment I entered the place, the cat meowed constantly and loudly at me. Everywhere I went, it followed, slinking under chairs and behind sofas, watching, meowing, hissing. I was keeping my eye on it, or so I thought. The cat had disappeared from my view. I turned to leave a room and it struck, jumping out from under a table. It furiously scratched at my boot, paws moving quickly like Mike Tyson on the speed bag or Britney Spears unattended in a pharmacy. I stared for a moment in disbelief before firmly flicking my foot and walking quickly out of the room. The evil ninja cat followed as I exited, meowing in a tone which communicated to me that it was not to be fucked with.

“That’s why I like dogs,” I said to it, before realizing that I was talking to a cat.

“Pfffffft,” it said.

Bastard cat.

Scratching and clawing

2 Responses

  1. Cats suuuuuuuuuck. Proven fact.

    It’s true. I think Cooper and Striker should go tag team that feline.

  2. My cat is a bitch. She beats the shit out of my pitbull and licks her vagina on my pillow.

    She’s lucky she’s cute.

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