Dealing

I’m not the sort of person that needs to talk a lot of things out. When I say things, I mean moments that bring about a lot of emotion. I prefer to usually talk those things out with myself, to deal with them internally. When I get told that someone’s there for me if I want to talk, I rarely take them up on it. The most important part is that I know that my friends and family are there if I do need them. I tell you all of that to tell you this:

Last night, at around 5:45pm, I found out that my mother has breast cancer. I haven’t really talked about it since.

I sent a few text messages to people who are close to me and to my family, not to ask for an ear, but to tell them what’s happening because they’d want to know. Every response has been as I expected. I’m sorry to hear it. If you need me, I’m here for you. I appreciate that more than anything else.

My mother’s prognosis? As I sit here writing this nobody knows. An MRI is scheduled, and that will tell us what we need to know. I think that’s part of why I think I’m dealing with this well. I’m trying not to get overly concerned about a situation that I know very little about.

Over the long term, I’m not sure whether this sort of self-therapy, for lack of a better term, is a positive or not. When something happens that causes someone to ask whether I’m doing okay emotionally, I always say yes. I always mean it. I always believe it. I deal with it on my own terms in my own way and in the end, I’m fine with whatever it is. I realize the gravity of this particular situation and that there is a possibility that I may not be able to deal with it in the same way. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. In the meantime, I’m trying to be as positive as I can, and hoping for good things to come of the MRI. I may make a little fun of her in this space for trying to match me up all the time, and trying to marry me off, but it doesn’t make me love her any less. Regardless of whether I’m okay, whether my mother’s okay is what’s important.

Dealing

12 Responses

  1. I’m sorry to hear it as well. My mother was diagnosed a little more than 5 years ago, and now she has a clean bill of health. It’s sad, but breast cancer is far more common than I ever thought. But the good news is that when it’s caught early, there are so many treatments. I hope everything turns out well.

  2. Ugh, I am so sorry to hear this. I will just second carrie m and say there is a lot that can be done. Good luck to your mom and positive thoughts to your family. Please keep us updated.

  3. My mom’s been through it twice. The 2nd time was almost 10 years to the day from her original diagnosis. She’s been cancer free for over 13 years now. Will be thinking good thoughts. Remember that breast cancer is curable now unlike when our grandmothers and great grandmothers were getting diagnosed. Hang in there. -J

  4. 66, I am so sorry… I hope they caught it early on, and that this time next year it will simply be a bad memory. My thoughts are with you.

  5. My thoughts are with you! Handling it with a positive outlook and taking it one day at a time is good!

  6. I am very sorry to hear this. I’m sending you virtual hugs and tons of positive energy for you and your mom, and I am hoping for all the best.

  7. I am sorry to hear it as well. I know what you are going through, and my thoughts will be with your family! Best of luck with the MRI results.

  8. You’re already doing better than I was when I got the same news–you’re talking about it. I went into full on, shut down denial for the first three months.

    The good news is, that was 9 years ago, and (touch wood), she’s been cancer free ever since. I know hearing that now doesn’t do anything to really make it better, but I hope that at the very least, it helps you believe that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

  9. You are approaching it the right way. Take it as it comes – there’s nothing you can do about the things you can’t control, and you’ll deal with the next step when it’s time.

    My thoughts and prayers are w/ you and your mom, and I hope for a good prognosis.

  10. Thanks guys. All of you.

  11. Wow, 66, I am so so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you and your mom. Stay positive.

  12. i don’t know you, and there’s very little chance i’ll ever know you, but all the same, i’m hoping for the best.

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