Countdown

Already the mental preparation has begun. We’re 1½ weeks away, and I already have an idea of what I need to buy and pack for the weekend, and what I need to clean out and just plain clean before the trip.

What trip, I-66?

The Beach.

For me it’s the fourth consecutive journey down for the weekend, and I’m just as excited this year as I have been in years past. Year One saw me injure myself before the weekend, but I went anyway on crutches. Have you ever tried to crutch your drunk ass down the street for 4 blocks? Unbelievably difficult. Year Two gave way to this story, which we still talk about today:

We paid our huge tab and headed (stumbled) back to Luna Sea. I traipsed through the sand and ran into some more familiar people while attempting to sober up (right). Our 2 friends from earlier had come along with another friend of theirs and we spotted a table and sat down. Deep Cover passed out on the table before being awakened by a questionably educated polish/czech/british girl who insisted she was an even 33/33/33 of all nationalities, despite the fact that one parent was 100% brit and the other was 50/50 polish/czech which should have made her 50/25/25 by our estimation. Deep Cover was wearing beer goggles and even the women we were hanging with were saying “she’s not that cute” (which is fairly damning, considering that many women can find the attractiveness in the unattractive – if a woman says another woman isn’t “that cute” then she probably isn’t). We intervened and saved Deep Cover from a potential situation of morning regret (not to mention that he and I were sharing a room and you can probably figure out what the problem there would have been). Two of the guys took him out of there and I stayed about 5 minutes saying goodbye to some soccer girls I’d ran into and met the others outside. In the meantime, Deep Cover had gone into 7-11 to buy a pack of Marlboros, a Weekly World News, and a box of condoms. We got a lift back to the hotel and passed out.

In the morning Deep Cover eventually got his wits about him and we had the following exchange:
Deep Cover: “A pack of Marlboros, a Weekly World News, and a box of condoms. I came all the way here and this is all I have to show for it.”
I-66: “Do you even remember why you bought the condoms?”

That weekend was also filled with exchanges like this:

Deep Cover: [after I-66 and a female teammate finished play-arguing] “Wow. You two are like a married couple.”
I-66: [waiting for teammate to walk away] “Yeah. No sex.”

Year Three was filled with energy drinks, bars upon bars, an air mattress, multiple occurrences of the Running Man, jokes upon jokes upon jokes cracked, very little sleep, and an unknown and probably unnecessary amount of beer consumed.

Year Four? I’m bringing my cooler(s), adult beverages, athletic beverages, some tylenol, and, most importantly, my camera. As always, it’s going to be epic.

Countdown

5 Responses

  1. And sunscreen…don’t forget that.

    Thankfully I don’t need a lot of it. I’m not invincible when it comes to the sun (see: Bahamas, The), but I don’t burn easily, obviously.

  2. Are you taking your puppy?

    Negatory. Someone has already reserved him for that weekend.

  3. must. see. pictures.

    I plan on having much memory card space.

  4. 10-4 ghost rider

    The pattern is full.

    Though, I do need to find a puppysitter for the following weekend. Chicago Round 2!

  5. So while I go home to spend quality time with my moms in WORCESTER MASS, you’ll be laxing on the beach nose-deep in skank whores and coronas. Nice.

    1) That’s nose deep in soccer girls… some of whom are skank whores, but that’s already been thoroughly covered here. And there won’t be that much beach time really, as we have games to play and parties to attend.

    2) I-66 doesn’t drink beer that requires fruity additives (exception: Skittlebrau). I even discard my orange slice when I get my Hefeweizens.

Leave a Reply