In her defense, she was due.

It’s good to know that these things are going to happen before they do, to have siblings that warn you going in. That way you’re prepared.

The scene: The end of the weekend. Striker is harassing Chick Magnet, who’s more playful with him than usual.

Mom: I’m setting you up on a blind date.
I-66: No you’re not.
Mom: Yes I am.
I-66: No. You’re not.
Mom: Why not? She’s so nice, and she’s beautiful. She goes to NOVA. [I-66 note: there's that "nice" word again]
I-66: Okay, I’ll humor you for a moment…
Younger Sister: I’m surprised you’re even doing that.
I-66: (to YS) It stops there. (to Mom) How do you know her?
Mom: I know her sister. She was telling me all about her and said she would show me pictures.
I-66: Wait you’ve never met her, so how do you know she’s “nice” and beautiful?
YS: HAHAHAHAHA!
I-66: Because her sister says? She’s not biased.
Mom: Well she has another sister, and she couldn’t stop talking about the other one. So if this one doesn’t work I’ll go to the next one. [mom chuckles, I-66 walks into the next room to look out the window]
I-66: Why is this woman trying to sell off her sisters?
Mom: [potentially pulling stuff out of her ass] I think in their culture they’re supposed to be settling down at this age or something. I don’t know.
YS: Woahhhhh, wait a second! [laughing]
I-66: [re-entering the room] What culture?! You know what? Nevermind. I’m not humoring you anymore. No.
Mom: Ethiopia.
I-66: Just. No.
Mom: Why not?
I-66: No.
Mom: Unless you’re already dating someone…
[I-66 pauses and briefly debates whether he wants to go there, but eventually decides he doesn't want to explain or get his mother's hopes up, so he remains silent as the moment passes]
Striker: RARARARARAR!!!
I-66: Okay, time to go, dog.

Scene.

In her defense, she was due.

17 Responses

  1. awww…i *heart* your mom…shes sooo cute setting you up like that…
    lol..i think your silence spoke volumes..and i bet she caught it!!!…
    xoxo

    I don’t know… silence from me has become SOP for instances such as this. She pitches. I say no a dozen times. She pushes on. I shut down.

  2. I get many of the points here, but I am just saying: Ethiopian should not be something that disqualifies this poor girl. She cannot help her culture/heritage! I would not want someone to write me off because half my family lives in trailers.

    True, she cannot help her culture (if that is even in their culture, which is debatable.) What disqualifies her is that my mother, who does not have a stellar record of selection by any means, is pushing her. She was disqualified as soon as the conversation began.

  3. Tell her you’re gay or something. That’ll shift the grandbaby pressure straight over to the siblings.

    My sister’s been on Easy Street ever since she came out in ‘91. Meanwhile, if I even go on a date, my dad asks if he’s “permanent.”

    That’s just it. She has a granddaughter by my older sister. It’s worth mentioning that she gives a little of this to my younger sister, who, since she is 6 years my junior, still only gets a small fraction of what I have to deal with.

  4. We all saw what happened to that girl on America’s Next Top Model….

    I shudder to think…..

    …What?

  5. My mother tried to set me up once with a co-workers daughter. I arrive at Sunday dinner and there is this strange person at the table – painfully obvious. At least your mom had the courtesy to ask.

    That’s happened to me too, actually. The girl was my mother’s accupuncturist, or whatever someone who does accupuncture is, and she was invited to my mother’s birthday dinner in October… and my mother had the girl sit next to me. Awk. ward.

  6. The ANTM girl had been circumcised before coming to the US.

    [blank stare]

  7. Are you going to go?

    [By the way, hello! It has been a while. I know. I suck]

    Friendly Academic, yes it has been a while… Glad to see you here.

    I am not going to suffer my mother in this. I hope that eventually she will stop trying, but I don’t have my hopes up

  8. Thank god my parents live too far away for all that… and my girlfriends know better, sweet and southern though they may be.

    Besides, you appear to be in the much more advantageous position of not really needing their help at this moment.

  9. Uuuhhhhmm

    Go here….if you choose.

    I was briefed on this by Lemmonex after I started asking questions about why America’s Next Top Model was being discussed on my blog. I am not clicking that link.

  10. Luckily, my mom hasn’t started up on that since the last one died on me. I’m pretty sure that she knows I’d go apeshit on her. My favorite line when she was doing it though? “What makes you think I’d ever trust your judgement?” Her silence could be golden.

    Uh, died literally?

  11. I know these setups are annoying for you, but the way you capture your interaction with your Mom, and sis…and lil Striker. It’s all so sweet and cute. I know you don’t want to hear that.

    You know well. Seriously, cute? C’mon Cube, shoot me in the heart.

  12. I imagine Cube means, “Cute in a very manly sort of way.”

  13. Cute as in you have a family who obviously loves you (and can annoy you in a very familiar way that families do.) And I do think it’s very sweet of your mother, being a totally good Mom, wanting her son to be happy….maybe not hitting all the marks, but her good intentions are there. Loving mother. Loving sister. Loving dog. What more could you ask for? You are blessed.

  14. Wrong, shoot em in the balls. That way he’ll have a new excuse for Mama. PS, what happened to La Brasiliera? A little ATM action and she freaked?

  15. Not related to your post, but your comments on other blogs have me rolling in laughter lately

    “google that one googlebitches”

    haha

  16. i can’t even imagine what I’d do if my mother tried to set me up with someone…i’d probably die on the spot. and thank your puppy, he at least got you out of the situation! :-)

  17. And then there’s the time my mom met a nice old lady at some function and proceeded to give the woman my phone number to pass on to her (the old woman’s) granddaughter. Thanks mom, I really needed you to pimp me out to the grandchildren of strangers.
    (Of course it gets worse; the girl actually calls me. She’s awful. I quickly make an excuse to get off the phone and promise to send her an email. I do not.)

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