- Craigslist buyers can be a ballsy bunch, arranging to meet you at a certain place at a certain time for exchange of goods, but if they change their minds they have no qualms with just not showing. But that’s what can happen when you rely upon strangers.
- When you’re in a crowded dance club, where there’s not much room to step to the left or right, let alone dance, it’s probably not a good idea for you and your girl to engage in full on salsa, dude.
- It’s probably also not a good idea for you to contort your face in a way that says to me “I’m trying way too hard, but if I look like so I’ll just appear smooth and effortless” because I’m only going to laugh at you.
- Gross can be best defined by a girl dancing barefoot on concrete floor in the basement of a club.
- When trying to hail a cab at 3am in Dupont, the smart people do it up Connecticut Avenue from the bars and clubs from which they emerge, no matter which side of the street they’re on, or they walk against the one ways perpendicular to Connecticut. You’re not going to catch a cab down the street from the bar, because all the smart people pick them up before they get to you.
- Taking the dog to pee at 3:15am evidently does not mean he’s going to wake up later in the morning. In actuality, he’s going to wake up at 7am as he usually does and whine to go outside, and you’re going to put on sunglasses because, even though it’s not bright outside, there’s still too much light for your hungover eyes.
- You’re one smart motherfucker for buying that gigantic energy drink the day before and stowing it in the refrigerator.
- You’re going to second guess yourself no matter which of the accept or decline options you choose when you receive the friend request of a 5-years-ago blast from the past, so you might as well fulfill your curiosity.
Actually, that is a story for another post…
Filed under: randonymity