In a fit of brilliance, yesterday evening I effectively managed to bar myself from my building. Usually when I walk the dog I take my wallet and my keys. The wallet has my building entry card in it, and my keys, well, they’re my keys. Well, I forgot my wallet for the first time and I only realized it when I got to the side entrance of the building. I looked in through the window in the door and there was a group of people, older ladies, hanging out in the lobby, because that’s what they do. There was nobody in the hall between me and the lobby, which is something like 40 yards away, so thus nobody was going to just be passing by and open the door for me. Suddenly it occurred to me that I could go to the front door, call up to myself on the call box and let myself in with my cell phone, which I happened to have on me.

I took the dog around to the front of the building and called myself. I buzzed myself in and proceeded past the ladies in the lobby. One of them is afraid of dogs so I kept Striker close on the leash. It didn’t stop him from stretching and straining to get to the people because that’s what he does. I think he might like people more than other dogs. So I get past the group and relax a little, and then I hear one of the old ladies ask this.

“Is that your dog?”

I stopped and turned.

“Yes it is.”

“He needs to be trained better,” she said, “he’s too wild.”

I paused, the incredulity in my eyes shielded by the sunglasses I hadn’t yet removed.

“Uh… he’s a 4 month old puppy.”

She had no response. We went on our way.

Now I’ve already had enough with some dog owners telling me what’s best for my dog because it’s what they think is best for theirs. It’s one thing if I ask, but it’s another thing if I don’t. I certainly don’t need some non-dog owner telling me what’s what when they don’t know shit. I’m surprised I left it at that, because inside all of these additions to “he’s a 4 month old puppy” were floating around, like…

“…who’s been in the crate all day so he has a little energy to burn, but you wouldn’t know anything about that would you?”

Maybe next time.

9 Responses

  1. “Yeah, he does lunge at strangers. That’s a behavior I find completely unacceptable, in humans or dogs. He’s 4 months old – what’s your excuse?”

    Ooooh… even better.

  2. or you could go with something like..
    yeah well what can i say.. HE luvs BITCHES….

    Similar to how I love blonds?

  3. I know the ladies of which you speak and I don’t like them at all. Must be nice to have nothing better to do but sit in the lobby and gossip all day.

    I was walking my pups up New Hampshire one day, and ladies, similar to the ones of which you speak were outside a hotel smoking, and one of them said, “ooh, those dogs is fat, they need a diet.” My comeback, if I were rude enough, would have been “speak for yourself” because that heffer was pushing 250.

    Anyway, I am always amazed in this city, people have some need to interject themselves into everyone else’s business.

    Most of them are harmless, or so I previously thought. One lives on my floor and apologized to me one day for her fear of dogs resulting in me having to restrain mine when she’s near. It wasn’t necessary for her to do that, but I appreciated it.

  4. Please tell me that you went inside your apartment and promptly began training Striker to unleash the fury.

    Are you kidding me? I’m going to have a huge bill for the contractors I bring in to patch up the holes he’s kicked in the wall.

  5. I hate rude people like thats, geesh its a puppy – it would have been great if he lifted a leg and took a pee on her :-)

    You know, I haven’t seen him lift his leg once to pee. What’s up with that?

  6. I think your old biddy lobby crew ought to have a battle with my old biddy lobby crew. They spend most of their days waiting for the mail to come and shooting me disapproving looks every time I stumble in tipsy.

    To make it interesting, the losers have to give up their social security for the next 2 months to the winners.

  7. I’m all for training Striker to “Kill.”

  8. Tell them you are training Striker to be a fourth at Bridge or Mah Jong. They would love him.

    Tell them he’ll bring pastries and tea sandwiches and a martini shaker.

    Tell them he’s a Cary Grant kinda dog.

  9. Um…not to be “rude,” I guess, but there is a way of training dogs to be more obedient on the leash. Like with one of those metal prong collars. My aunt used that and it worked. They also look badass. I have a feeling Stryker would love that shit.

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