High time

I’m pretty sure it was just after Freshman year of college. Or maybe it was a break of some sort. A bunch of us had gathered at M’s place one night to play Goldeneye on Nintendo 64, drink, and… what’s that other thing college kids do? It seemed like a run of the mill sort of night, and nobody could have known at the time that something would happen that still is talked about to this day, almost 10 years later. And every time we talk about it, we laugh as hard as we did then.

I don’t remember who was playing Goldeneye, or who was just sitting idly by enjoying their current state and probably eating Doritos. What I do remember, though, is that it was silent. Well, that’s until S opened his mouth. We’re pretty sure he was trying to say something about getting his sister (slightly younger than us but like-minded) fucked up on that shit. Trying. Because what he actually said, with completely deadpanned delivery, was…

“I gotta fuck the shit out of my sister.”

I don’t need to tell you that all hell broke loose in that room. I actually had to get up and walk out of there I was laughing so hard. I mean, it’s funny enough as it is, but take into account the fact that our senses of humor were tremendously enhanced, and that made it even more hilarious. By the time the laughter stopped, about 15 minutes had passed. Most of us were clutching our stomachs, and still giggling somewhat with maybe a cough thrown in.

We finally settled down and got back to what we’d been doing. People were getting shot with the Golden Gun, about 10 minutes had passed, and things were back to normal. Or so we thought.

M: [looking across the room at E, who's giggling like a schoolgirl] “Dude, what are you laughing at?”
E: [pointing at me] “The same thing he’s laughing at!”

Okay, maybe we weren’t settled down. There was another 10 minutes of raucous laughter, and I don’t even know what happened after that.

We never did tell his sister what happened. A couple of years ago I was at Clarendon Ballroom, the same night as the infamous Old Ebbitt Grill vomiting incident, I found myself in the same company as S and his sister who I hadn’t seen since and had moved away but was visiting for a weekend. I learned later that evidently S asked someone else “he’s not gonna say anything is he?” Of course I wasn’t. I almost feel like it loses some of its funny that way, and we can’t have that.

High time

4 Responses

  1. No, once you tell her, it’s diffused.

  2. I love being high.

    The Guv’na and I once laughed for 10-15 solid minutes at the high chair in a Waffle House (specifically, the cellophane wrapped tray that contained a paper WH hat, saltine cracker, and crayons….hilarious).

  3. OMG, Goldeneye. We used to turn the paintball mode on with infinite weapons and play “tag.”

  4. I remember this….now that’s a memory that should be preserved forever.

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