Shammered.

It didn’t look like it was going to be a good day on Saturday. We showed up and went to VIP will call and a number of bloggers (myself included) were not the list to receive their credentials despite having sent emails earlier in the week. We managed to get into the event anyway without issue, but being told one’s name is not on the list can be a bit of a momentary buzzkill.

Once inside, a small portion of our group found the line for the Bass. I grabbed two freebies and found the rest of the group in the mile-long line for beer of a lighter persuasion (and I’m pretty sure in smaller cups, but by the time I got to the front of that line I was out of beer and had thrown away the cups). We spent a little time in the VIP closest to the entrance before hearing that the VIP on the other side was less packed. Half of our party made their way straight across, while the rest of us found food. I devoured two hot dogs like a Somalian at an all you can eat buffet, nibbled a few nachos, and we went in search of the others in the less-populated VIP. It would be our base of operations for the day. The rest of the day is mostly seen through a beery haze. And my green-tinted sunglasses.

There were numerous kisses, there was no dancing in the tents and no percolating, there was almost a fight over pictures taken of random people falling over to the ground and making out, there was a 2-person odyssey to find caffeine to rally, there was a failed attempt by 3 girls to use the mens restroom trailer, and there were some intrepid souls that made an empty-cups-of-beeramid.

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But that eventually was spoiled by a random girl who destroyed the beeramid and was bathed in beer as punishment. I walked over to her and said “I hope you’re going to tell me that someone gave you money or something to do that” and she said no. It’s a shame considering the carnage.

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As the day wore on our group began to thin. A group of 4 of us made plans to go meet others, so we headed for the exit with a pit stop at the food vendors to replenish. I scarfed a basket of Boardwalk fries, and the collective lot of us tore into a funnel cake like we were R. Kelly and it was teenage ass. A dose of caffeine in the form of Mountain Dew for me and we were off. Hailing a cab proved futile, so we hopped onto the metro despite one unnamed individual’s objections. Of course you wouldn’t know she didn’t want to be on the metro with all the random singing we were doing (Bon Jovi!). Sometimes I thought others on the standing-room-only train were singing with us, and other times I thought they were annoyed. Oh well.

Our night would continue, as our group of 4 became 6 and we hit RNR in Chinatown. There were very boozey drinks to be had, and a ton of dancing to be done. Still no percolator, despite my requests, but I guess you can’t have everything. It seemed like it was really late when I finally left to go home, but that was only because we had essentially been drinking for 10 consecutive hours by that point.

My interesting night was not yet over. I took the metro over from Gallery Place to Metro Center. While on that short ride, I sat directly in front of a guy and a girl, the latter of which was on the phone. She told a story about having to pee really bad so she did it inside a metro station into a mop bucket. I couldn’t help but overhear, so I turned slowly around to look at her in amazement. The guy she was with laughed, and as the train pulled into Metro Center I told her “It’s okay. It wasn’t the floor” and got off of the train. On the way to transfer to the orange line, A group comprised of one guy and two girls was looking for the mall. I said “well, the Macy’s is right over there” and suddenly they thought I was the best thing since porn in high definition. They introduced themselves to me and asked my name, and one of the girls proclaimed me to be her friend and that she was coming with me. By this time I had reached the escalator down to the blue/orange platform and stepped onto it. She stepped onto it next to me, and her friends were calling to her. I said “uh, I don’t think you want to go with me” and she realized that she wasn’t where she should’ve been so she turned to walk back up the down escalator. She should’ve been running, because simply walking only proved to slow her descent. I guess she figured all was lost so she was going to go with me anyways. Just then I was halfway down the escalator and my train pulled in so I said “I gotta go” and hauled it down the rest of the way. She ran behind me to the platform and I ducked into the train just before the doors closed. I don’t know what happened to the girl. I don’t know if she got onto my train, remained on the platform, or eventually made it back to her friends. I hope she was drunk.

As I settled in on the metro for the ride back, I noticed more than ever that my legs were killing me. Standing all day and dancing the night away is not the recipe for avoiding soreness. That said, I had a good time and I’m glad I was convinced to go. Next year, yes?

16 Responses

  1. Is that you in the green shirt with the cup pyramid?

    Haha, afraid not. There are no post-able pictures of me from Saturday unfortunately. I only vaguely remember who that guy is.

  2. What, Shamrock Fest? Is that what I did this weekend?

    Yes. But if it is any consolation, you did it really well.

  3. I liked that beer cup guy, even though he said I looked like Olivia Newton John.

    And, was I the anti-metro person? I don’t remember, but that sounds about right.

    Oh and your friend’s friend wound up sleeping on my friend’s sofa that night.

  4. Sorry. I thought this was Lemmonex’s blog. I must still be drunk…

    Wow. I don’t even know how to feel about that. I was with you up until “friend’s friend.” I thought you were missing one degree of separation in there somewhere. Yes, this is not her blog. In fact, she didn’t even write anything about Saturday. What’s up with that? And do you remember Beer Cup Pyramid guy saying he was off the market?

  5. Beer cup guy is kind of hot, I was getting ready to hit on you I-66 lol………………

    Haha… well, if it makes you feel any better he proclaimed himself to be off the market. And then he was making out with an unnamed female moments later.

  6. I clicked on the links from Arjew’s blog to get here, but didn’t realize you’d updated/moved your blog. It looked more like Lemmonex’s site, so I just assumed.

    And I thought it was really funny that she was commenting on her own blog, and then responding to those comments. Yeah, I’m not the brightest bulb burning, apparently.

    Off the market guy was doing a little harmless window shopping, that’s all. Browsing.

    Yes. He wasn’t buying anything. Just tonguing it.

  7. Unnamed female is a lucky girl :-)

    I think you’re assuming that he was a good kisser. Or does it matter?

  8. Thanks for the reminder on why that dude wanted to beat him up. I thought it was because he looked at him weird.

    The fact that kerrie thought this was the blog of someone else, someone whose blog looks and reads nothing like yours, cracks me up to no end.

    Yeah… I’ve been biting my tongue on that, and I don’t know how I’ve managed to keep my mouth shut. She appears to be having a bad Monday, and that may be a massive understatement.

  9. What? Lemmonex is I-66’s alter ego.

    And I will get a damn post up. Genius takes time.

    Lemmonexty-Six? I-Sixtynex?

  10. I hope he was a good kisser in her case… yeah a good kiss matters, but if he was drunk it was probably sloppy.

    I’m not even sure the unnamed female remembers whether it was good.

  11. Am I unnamed female? I think so, but I’m confused. What the fuck was in that beer?! I’m still in a fog.

    I actually thought, “Wow, Lemmonex didn’t incorporate a recipe into this post…”

    I don’t remember if he was a good kisser. I only remember that I kissed him. And I remember him as being far cuter than that of his picture, but is that really a surprise, given my condition?

    Yes. Hops and barley. And no, that does not surprise me. Arjewtino says you were giddy like a schoolgirl, so maybe it was good?

  12. LOVE the new look. Never been to shamrock fest…but after reading this post have decided I must attend next year.

    Thanks, Water Girl. You’re missing out, but it really helps not to have to pay for beer.

  13. ahh the famous beer goggles……..

    I must do work today instead of reading the whole DC area’s blogs and being a comment whore.

    What is work?

  14. I do remember someone referring to green shirt guy as “DP”. Short for doughy physique.

  15. i’m glad you had fun saturday, and i hope you werent one of the passed out patrons on the metro taking up three seats each that i wanted to stab with sporks.

  16. Looks like I’m not the only one who migrated over to WordPress recently…except I’m trying to regain my anonymity in the blog world. Glad I caught your switch before the Blogger disappeared.

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