Dear 10,000 BC,

Things about you bother me, and I don’t know where to start.

Maybe I should start with the fact that your trailers mention that you were directed by the same guy who did The Day After Tomorrow as if that’s actually a good thing. Maybe I should start with the fact that you evidently contain a character named “Tic’Tac” according to your Wiki. Maybe I should start with the fact that casting unknown actors helped keep your budget down, but we, the moviegoers, are still supposed to pay $37.29 or whatever a movie ticket costs these days to see you…

Actually, no. I’ll start with the fact that, despite your trailers running for what seems like months, causing me to tune them out whenever they came on, I happened to be paying attention today and realized that you are just entering theaters tomorrow. Are you shitting me?! I feel like some movies have gone to the theaters and have already made it to DVD in the time we’ve been watching your trailers. This is almost as bad as the Cloverfield ad onslaught. Almost.

You, 10,000 BC are not getting any of my money. You’ve wasted enough of my time over the past few months. I won’t be spending any more of it of my own volition. Well, at least your sabretooth tigers look kinda cool. So you’ve got that going for you. Which is nice.

Wishing you’d go away,

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