G.O.P.’s in the house just in case you didn’t know it

I took a quick glance yesterday at the CNN headlines and saw this:

Of course it meant that Tony Snow was blaming Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius for the slow response in the wake of the tornadoes, but it got me thinking…

Tony Snow as a rapper? Of course we all know what his first single would be…

Snow Snow Baby

Yo, G.O.P.! Let’s kick it!

(Snow, Snow, baby… Snow, Snow, baby…)

Alright stop… asking questions and listen
Snowy’s back with a brand new conviction
Hard questions are gripping me tightly
Coming from reporters to the lefty and the righty
(Will it ever stop?) Yo, I don’t know
I’m filled with hot air, and I’ll blow
To the extreme I sweat under the pressure
Step out of line and I’ll give you a lecture
Squrim, when I’m a tight spot
Answer in english because Bush cannot
Deadly, when I give you that Snowy Stare
2 more years and I’m gonna lose my gray hair
Love it or leave it, I’m Secretary of Press
Afghanistan, Iraq, bring it on, what’s next?
If you got a question, yo I’ll duck it
Want accountability? You bitches can suck it…

(Snow, Snow, Baby… I’m Tony Snow, Snow, Baby…)

The Grand Ol’ Party’s still in office
With Dubya at the helm nobody can stop us
Stick to the point? To the point? You’re dreamin’
Sweating through my shirt like a bath of steam and
Burning you, with my barbs so great
You go crazy, I won’t answer straight
On my high horse, I’m smarter than all you
I’m on a roll, who the hell needs Fox News?
Rollin, with Condi Rice and Bush
Dubya once said Condi had a nice tush
Press on standby wanna know Iraq: why?
(Do you know?) Naw, so I’ll just lie
Kept on, with fibs and truths bent
If I’m busted I try to answer again
Our term is ending, so I can’t wait
It’s the G.O.P. (Giuliani in ‘08!)
I wrote some things about Bush that would get my car keyed
But I think I’m safe because I know he can’t read
Good thing, cuz this job is pretty fine
I used to diss his ass but he chose to hire mine
Ready, for the chumps in the press
The chumps ask for more but I give them way less
Jon Stewart, makes fun of me on his show
I grab my nine, gonna get that homo
Driving, gonna get there real fast
Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper, the Beltway’s packed
When I get there that guy will get capped
(Bush on the phone!) I gotta head back, man
Gotta explain why we’re attacking Iran
If you got a question, yo I’ll duck it
Want accountability? You bitches can suck it…

(Snow, Snow, Baby… I’m Tony Snow, Snow, Baby…)

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